Everything Shifts

     Winter is the perfect season for contemplating the idea that everything is temporary.  I look out my bedroom window at the beautiful skyscape and it's completely changed from the lush profusion of leaves I saw a few months ago.  I look to the hills that were browned to a crisp from a summer wildfire, and they are alive with beautiful chutes of soft new grass.

 Just to point out, birth and death are two sides of the same coin, so if you find your thoughts drifting to the impermanence of life in general, this is extremely normal.  Every woman I've spoken with agrees that they were dramatically more conscious of having death-related thoughts during their pregnancy; this seems to be a universal part of the experience.   I suggest keeping a journal, as often as possible (without insisting that you write on any particular schedule - please don't make the perfect the enemy of the good!) and recording your thoughts there.  It can be useful and illuminating to look back on later, and it will also help bring any scary-feeling shadowy thoughts into the light of acknowledgement, which tends to de-fang most scarier thinking.  I also like to consider the first law of thermodynamics.  Thermodynamics is the study of energy, and physicists point out that all matter is really energy slowed down to the point where it appears solid.  So, thermodynamics is the study of what-we're-made-of.  The first law states that Energy in a system may take on various forms (e.g. kinetic, potential, heat, light).  Energy may neither be created nor destroyed. Therefore the sum of all the energies in the system is a constant.  This pleases me.

     One of the most incredible gifts that pregnancy and having a baby have given me is a deeper understand of truths which I may have known to be true intellectually, but which I now 'feel' to be true on a much deeper level.  It's one thing for someone to say, "Hey, everything is temporary", but it's quite another to inhabit a body that changes so rapidly, so dramatically, that it becomes a living visual aid for this concept.  Everything changes all the time.  It's inevitable. 

     What does this mean to Me Personally?  It means that, if I am enjoying the way things are going, I aim to immerse myself fully in that moment, to fully luxuriate in it, intending that, when the moment is passed, I will be able to say, "Ahhh - I really enjoyed that as fully as I possibly could."
Conversely, if things are not going so swimmingly, like when I was experiencing 'morning sickness', I was able to remind myself that, just like they say about the weather, if you don't like how things are going now, wait a few minutes.  It'll change.  This isn't to say, you should sit and wait passively for change if you don't like how things are going, only that, as you are doing whatever you need to do to move forward, you can remind yourself that the appearance of difficulty is very temporary.  You can even ask yourself, How would I be acting/thinking right now if this challenge were already behind me?, and perhaps seek to practice that thinking even mid-challenge. 

     Now, here's the really interesting part: (even if you're not pregnant) you are physically not the same person as you were a few years ago.  Scientists tell us that it takes seven years for all of the cells in our entire body to fall away and be replaced by newer cells.  So, while it's clear to most people that they're not the same person they were a few years ago, mentally, we now know that this is true on the physical level as well!  So, just like cleaning out your closet makes room for newer, more suitable clothing, you can choose to release anything that hasn't been working for you, as an intentional change for yourself.  You might hold up an item of clothing and ask yourself, "Do I really need this?", evaluating when you wore it last, how you feel about the item, etc.  In much the same way, you can examine different beliefs you've held in the past and ask yourself, "How's this working out for me?  Is this belief or idea something which helps me to do and to be all that I wish, or is this maybe holding me back?" 

The helpful thing about being in a period of intense change is that, since things are already in an upheaval anyway, since the illusion of stasis, or holding still, is already shattered, it can be less intimidating to take on intentional changes as well.  If your walls are already being repainted, the furniture is already in the middle of the room, it's a lot easier to choose to change the pictures you have on those walls (may as well, right?)  So, while we can't control when or how we may enter a period of change which is more intense and dramatic than most, we can  make the most of them by choosing with intention, something about ourselves which we might like to change.  Again, you might not have even planned on having to repaint the walls, furniture in the middle of the room, but once it's there, why not consider carefully which pictures you wish to hang (beliefs and/or qualities you wish to cultivate) in your room (self) made new?  As simply as hanging a picture, you can begin by simply intending what you wish to change.  For example, if your goal is patience, you can tell yourself, I am very patient now.  How would I act if this were already true?  Why wait?  You can begin practicing this change now.  You will be creating the change as you go - all you need is to hold the intention, or the willingness, to support the change you choose.  You have everything you need to get started.