The Magical Equation Of Change, and How It's Transforming My World Today

Greetings, readers.  Today I write to you as a woman in some turmoil.  I am a couple weeks into taking online classes, and my brain hasn't been working the way it used to (I used to drive a Ferrari; I now seem to be rocking the Flintstones' car).  I can not remember the last time I got more than two hours of non-interrupted sleep - well, I can, but it was over six months ago (the night before the day I gave birth). 

 

The other bug in my bonnet: I am frustrated that, for the first time in my adult life, I want more money, but I don't have the option of "just working harder" (as when I worked sales jobs where I could earn a commission), or of finding a job with a higher salary, or asking for a raise.  As my friend Michele, who will be interviewed in a future blog entry, delving into her skills of fiscal wizardry, says, I have one client, who is extremely demanding, and I am on-call 24/7 - oh, and also, I signed an exclusivity contract stating that I can't work for anyone else, including bosses who would pay me in currency other than baby smiles and baby giggles (which are terrific and all, but the cashiers at Whole Foods seem to feel it's not an acceptable form of payment).

So, here I am.  These are the two issues which weigh heavily upon my mind and heart today.  I, readers, am standing at the fulcrum, or balance point, of the scales.  The scales I refer to represent components of the Magical Equation of Change, which reads as follows:

The pain of the present situation must out-weigh the fear of the unknown, for change to occur.

Powerful stuff, that equation.  And 100% true for humans; every one I've met anyway.

Until today, I have resisted feeding my daughter solid foods.  My mother, who is a neonatal intensive care nurse (who works with premature babies, and is a fountain of current, clinically-proven baby-related information) tells me research shows that: the longer the introduction of solid foods is delayed, the lower the chance baby will suffer allergies later in life.  Or more specifically, the longer babies ingest nothing but breast milk, the less likely they are to later suffer allergies.  So, I've been waiting and waiting.  Everybody else tells me that, as soon as their baby started eating solid foods, presto!, baby slept through the night.  Through the night??!  The whole night???  Wow.  So, this morning, after yet another night of what felt like one extremely long game of poke-mama-s eyeballs, played by my wide-awake daughter, I decided.  There is a reason that, when the airline safety spiel talks about oxygen masks, the point they emphasize is to put your own mask on first.  Because, if you don't, who's going to be coherent enough to put the childrens' masks on them?  Today, my daughter will taste her first solid foods.  I am giddy at the mere whiff of possibility of a sleep-filled night.

Next, the money issue.  Actually, there is an option I had overlooked.  Scholarships and grants.  Money is one of the main reasons I'm in school in the first place, but maybe I don't have to wait until I graduate to benefit from increased funds.  I don't know how long it's going to take; I don't know if my daughter is going to do her best impression of a car alarm the entire time we're waiting in line; I don't know if I will be successful - if it will be worth my while.  But I do know I have to try.  Monday, my daughter and I will be camping out in the line outside my community college's Financial Aid office, and if we have to spend the whole day there, then that's what will have to happen for me to attain more funds.

The pain of the current situation has tipped the balance, and now out-weighs any fear of the unknown: change is now ready to occur.

Which brings us to the other magical quality of change.  Once you achieve the first equation, once you have clearly identified measurable, attainable action steps for yourself, which you firmly intend to put into motion, the part of you that was in so much pain begins to relax.  Ahhhhhh........